why I should be on the supreme court

Everybody in New England heard this story a million times. A four-year-old ticketed for littering after throwing toys out of a moving car. The mother, driving the minivan, is blissfully unaware of what her daughter is doing. Now, everybody is all upset.

How about this hypothetical scenario: Stan is nominated to the Supreme Court (hey, better than Bush's bible thumpers), and the case happens to work its way through the justice system. What would Honorable Stan do?

Would he revoke driving privileges from all soccer moms? No, now's not the time to do this, although his Honor will sprinkle subtle hints while writing his opinion that will ultimately guide legislators to ban all slow and incompetent drivers from public highways.

So, what is the solution for the case at hand? Direct and just, the way Stan likes it. The four-year-old will serve on the highway clean-up crew for a period of no less than six months. Orange uniform mandatory, security blanket is not an option. Case closed.