it's a boy!

Wow, I can't believe my friends Dave and Jen had a baby! Well, Jen was doing most of the work, but I'm sure that daddy helped out too. A baby! That's crazy! Great, but crazy!

header, part deux

Surely, my non-existent audience can’t wait for another installment of the header saga. To recap: we have a piece of code, a header, that needs to go on every intranet page, but the sheer number of distributed servers makes that sliiiightly difficult.

So, here I was, looking into any possible workaround for this insane problem that the designers of every server and every programming platform have created for us in the name of security. Then, as I was looking at JSON or something similar, it hit me: what if we coded up the header INSIDE as a JavaScript snippet?

At first, I laughed at myself, and called myself an idiot. Then, I started thinking… a piece of JavaScript code can be downloaded from any server – if you’d like, you can run JavaScript from Microsoft in your browser – it’s all client-side. Sooo… I started coding, and this is what this craziness now looks like:

- the page that lives on some random server includes an iframe that starts off at 0px height
- the iframe calls another HTML file that has an onload JavaScript to resize the parent iframe to fit its size (everything is kosher here, we’re on the same server)
- here’s the kicker – the iframe source file makes a call to a JavaScript function that resides on the main intranet server that we have full control of
- this JavaScript function document.writes out the header code, CSS and all
- once the iframe source loads, the aforementioned script resizes the iframe so that the header is there to be seen

The net effect is that if JavaScript is disabled, or if the main server takes too long to respond or is down, the header would not display. Because of the iframe, the page that started this whole thing can load up unaffected by what’s going on the main server.

What’s crazy is that the header code is not even written out to disk – it exists only in the client’s browser memory. And yet the darn thing works.

long live Stan

With heavy heart and much sadness, I regret to announce that Stan has passed away at some point today. No, no, Stan the Russian Hulk is still alive and well, but Stan the tropical fish has moved on to the big fish tank upstairs. Oww.

rest in peace

Just had an Office Space moment: the color printer down the hall refused to print my PSD file. When I went to check up on it, it gave me a foreboding message:

900 Service
RIP Software

Wow. I didn't know that you were supposed to mourn software when it dies.

Now all I need is a baseball bat, an empty field, and five minutes with that Lexmark piece of junk.

duuude, I'm getting a Dell

Yes yes, I finally took the plunge and splurged on a new computer, seeing how 95% of my life is spent behind the monitor... got a Dell Dimension E310 here, P4 3GHz, 1 gig of RAM, dvd-r and and a dvd-rw, the works. Can't wait to set up the Windows Media Edition to replace our DVR - have really high hopes for that.

nyc

Wow, so behind in by bloggin' that this thing no longer reflects reality. Anyhoo, new pictures from New York are up.

I've led a very boring life

(Thanks, Sue, for making me realize I have not done it all)

Green = has done
pass along

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them.
66. Visited Japan
67. Bench pressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records (CDs)
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better (better? bah!)
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman (ummm... define "swordfight"...)
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand (it doesn't have to be sex)
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror Show
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds not all at once, but after losing, gaining, and then losing again, it adds up
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196. Dyed your hair
197. Been a DJ
198. Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199. Written your own role playing game
200. Been arrested

pimp my nutcracker

Something to brighten up your workday: Pimp My Nutcracker.

not so del.icio.us?

Much hateration on the del.icio.us blog, with people complaining their butts off about the unreliable service. On one hand, hey, this is what you get for free, but on the other, it'd be sweet if the back end was more robust...

no rest 'till Brooklyn

I am beginning to realize that running around ALL-THE-TIME does not have the same stress-relieving properties as, say, sitting down and resting. Consider the end of this past week – I spent all of Thursday night moving furniture for our party on Friday, which we definitely had, after spending most of the day driving to and from Attitash (oh yeah, there was some skiing in there too).

By the way, huge thanks to Kenny for driving. I had no idea before that Volkswagen made a 270 hp W8 monster of a Passat, but he somehow found it. Very sweet.

So, after being late to our own party, we did manage to pull it off. Always good to get back in touch with all the peeps. Cleaning up had to be accelerated, since we were leaving early in the morning to pick up Gordon on the way to Providence and then NYC.

For those of you who don’t know Gordon: he invented the word “cake”. Well, the word was around before him, but he gave it the new meaning of “constantly being late and/or doing something other than what you are supposed to do.” By the time we found his place in the heart of Jamaica Plain, got him some cash, collected all the things that he needed to collect, and said goodbye to his parents, we were late by around two hours. Then again, Pisit, who set the schedule, probably never expected us to really leave Providence by 10AM.

By the time we got to Providence, found Hakeem and Pisit, and finished checking out Pisit’s new place (which was very awesome, new, and full of potential), it was somewhere around 1PM. Cake hard.

Long story short, by the time we reconnected with Daisuke, made our way to Manhattan, and got Jon to wander into our midst, it was past 8. Huge kudos to Sunny for being patient with our lazy asses as we took forever and a half to walk over to the Thai restaurant where he, Jeff, Inga, and the gang were waiting.

After a fine dinner – over to the bar, from which we would eventually be kicked out for not looking like we belonged to Columbia Business School (as they rented the place for the nite). Oh well – again into the cold, and off to the Park Lounge. That place was pretty decent, once we got inside. Of course, that proved to be difficult for Jon, who wore sneakers. Cake very hard. No problem – I took off my shoes once I got in, and Susan carried them to Jon. At the entrance, Jon engaged in the following conversation:
Bouncer: “Hey, aren’t you that guy?”
Jon: “No, that guy left already” (takes back his ID, runs inside).

After sleeping over at Sunny’s place, Susan and I got up wicked early once again to check out the Russian art exhibit at the Guggenheim. I must say, I was impressed by the breadth of the collection, and by the quality of the exhibits. All the paintings that I’ve seen only in books or textbooks were there. Check it out, if you’re in the area.

From there: to the ferry, and back to hospitable Jersey. Again, Gordon was cakeferous, even though he was the one in a hurry to get back. I believe that he managed to forget at least one item in every house and every car that we’ve been to. The spirit of the 120’s lives on.

So yeah, now back to Somerville, here I am wondering whether I will ever get any rest.

head err

I usually try not to worry about work stuff at home, but this thing had me thinking for quite some time now. Well, not just me, but two other designers from my team, a developer, and two content team members.

All the fuss is over a header that we need to introduce to intranet pages. 30 px tall, two form elements, four links… if we can put it on every page on the intranet, people would know when they are on an intranet page, and could jump effortlessly to any other page, do a search, fill out their timecard, etc. etc.

Sounds easy.

Now, the intranet consists of a large number of different servers, some UNIX, some Windows. OK… There are a lot of apps, JSP, XSLT, you name it. OK… A CMS system would help things? Sure. There is one. But no one is using it. D’oh.

Soooo… we have the header code, HTML, CSS, with some JavaScript mixed in. We want to keep it in one location, so that we could easily make updates and see them reflected across the intranet. It would be great to just server-side-include it everywhere, but you can’t SSI across servers. Double d’oh.

The developer had a great idea – stick the header inside the iframe. Nobody likes iframes, but here it seems to work (since you don’t need to print/scroll/crawl the header). Tiny wrinkle – when the browser window is resized, the header goes on two lines and grows beyond 30px. The iframe stays at 30px. Not so good.

The developer was not discouraged – he coded up a solution that resized the iframe in the parent window when needed. Brilliant. Only JavaScript doesn’t work across servers.

Since then, we’ve cooked up a dozen schemes of pushing the header code to the other servers automatically – even separating the iframe-related script to wrap it around the normal header. Of course, the network admins would have to configure each server separately.

But, around this time, I’m getting to the point of just saying that we should code the header in a way that would keep it from having to grow on resizing. Stick it in the iframe, and call it a day. The users might not see all the links in all the screen sizes, but you know what, sometimes the result does not justify the means.

Looondon!!

I cannot freakin' believe that I still didn't get around to blogging about our London trip! Well, that problem is about to be resolved. In other news: I've sold out to Flickr, but you can follow my narration through pictures.

Let's go back to the beginning first. Susan's birthday was coming up, and I, being the romantic person that I am, decided to take her away on an exciting trip. However, seeing how I am as pragmatic as I was romantic, I figured that we might as well go somewhere that I was itching to go for a long time. London it was.

Susan had no idea about the trip up until her birthday, so clearly she was enthused. We left in the afternoon, and, after an uneventful flight on Virgin airlines and a reasonable Tube ride, we emerged above ground at Gloucester Road station. What do we see? Burger King next to Starbucks next to KFC. “Hmmmm,” we say, and check around to make sure that we really are in the UK. Interesting.

We made it to the hotel (a nice quaint place in a district chock full of other hotels), dropped off our bags, and ran right back to the Tube. Off to Tower of London.

The downtown area is nice. Certainly not as impressive as that of St. Petersburg, but hey, this is just a small island nation we’re talking about. Took a little walk on the shore of Thames, and went in to the Tower. A bit of a misnomer, really, seeing how it’s a complex of old buildings. The highlight was seeing the Crown Jewels (yes, yes, I giggled several times), especially the crowns with egg-sized diamonds. Pretty sweet indeed.

Coming out of the Tower, we decided to sample some local cuisine, and settled on some fish n’ chips. Communicating with the food booth attendant proved mildly difficult. Just a sign of things to come.

The same afternoon, we made it to the Big Ben and Westminster Abbey, and then went from one pub in the Leicester Sq. to another. Slowly, I realized that the Brits sound a bit odd, ranging from “sorta funny” to “highly retarded”. In the worst cases, Susan and I had to parse what people were saying, and translate it to each other.

The next day was a walking marathon. In the morning, we went to the Portobello market and picked up some red currant on the way. From there, we made our way to the British Museum – definitely an impressive place. We had a great dinner at an Indian place and tried to get on the London Eye, but got there too late. Oh well, back to the pubs!

Our final day in London was a short one, but we still made the best of it by hiking from Victoria Station to Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, and finally to Covent Market. The trip back was great – we were on one of the Virgin planes that had awesome new entertainment centers at every seat, so we got to watch Wallace & Gromit and Sin City. Overall – definitely a weekend well spent, and both of us want to go back to London to see more. But no more British accents. Please, learn to speak English!