dealing with lunatics

The management of Dubai Ports probably felt they were dealing with a bunch of paranoid schizophrenics during this whole "security scandal". This article in WSJ details how DP went to great lengths to explain that it will ensure security at the terminals that it rightfully acquired, certainly going way beyond what American companies are doing.

To recast this as a scene for a movie, we could have DP played by a reputable businessman in a well-tailored suit. The Senate can be portrayed by a, let’s see, a raving lunatic wielding a knife.

Businessman (offering a portfolio of documents): Here, we compiled a collection of documents that detail the rationale behind this transaction, and explain how it went through a full security review, as required by the laws of the United Sta…

Lunatic (interrupts, starts dancing in place): BAWAAAHUAAA! You’re an Arab! BUHAWAAAA!

Businessman (clears throat, adjusts tie): Well, actually, I was born in the suburb of London, but yes, my client is based in Dubai, a long-time ally of your governm…

Lunatic (starts making threatening gestures with the knife): Nine-eleven! Nine-eleven!! Homeland!! Security!!

Businessman (cautiously steps back): I assure you, my client is ready to assure the highest possible level of security in the terminal operations. In addition, the terminals will be secured, as they always have been, by the Coast Guard and…

Lunatic: BWAAAAHUWAAAAA!

Businessman (continues slowly stepping back without taking his eyes off the lunatic): Umm, okay, I’m just going to carefully... back... out...