phew
I'm back.
Feels good to be home - even if home is covered in snow, and even if Sue couldn't come back with me. "Home" means no more walking, no more dealing with French, and no more fighting off Jonas' advances...
Just kidding about the last one, of course:
So where do I start?
In case you didn't believe my account of the homeless night in London, here's some visual evidence:
Things really went uphill from there. Susan and I had a great time, even if we walked almost everywhere in Paris. That turned out not to be such a bad thing, because we really got to experience the city: the glamour of Champs-Elysees, the hustle-bustle of Rue de Rivoli, and the changing face of Marais. Here's a cool pic that I snapped around Montmartre, close to where Susan lives:
We also got to see Sunny and Jing, which was really really cool - even if it was ironic that we had to travel for thousands of miles to see each other.
I do have to mention a few more things about Amsterdam, for the sake of completeness. I had to compare notes with Jonas, to make sure some things happened the way I remembered.
They did.
After the museums and other cultural institutions closed, Jonas and I had no choice but to visit the only tourist attraction that was still operating - the Red Light district. I wasn't sure what to expect, so I was in for a surprise. All over the narrow, canal-lined streets were glassed-in rooms with red neon backlights. In the windows stood all kinds of women - young, old, attractive and not so much so - in their lingerie. Any "interested" man could walk in, and immediately the red blinds would be drawn. What happens there is best left to imagination, but, according to Jonas (who was brave enough to conduct a purely journalistic investigation) prices start at 50 euro. Business was as brisk as the weather, and quite a few blinds were being shut - often with alarming frequency.
Of course, Jonas and I are respectable family men, so you ain't gonna see us behind no red blinds. Instead, we headed to a place that Jonas' trusty guide book suggested. What looked like a movie theater turned out to be a live sex show. Well, what can you do - we paid for entertainment, and we got it.
One act was called "The Dominatrix". A slightly older lady came out on stage, wearing black - as expected. She spun around with her whip a few times, and then proceeded to walk down the main isle. When she saw Jonas and I sitting next to each other, she asked, "Are you two together?" Maybe I protested a little too vigorously, 'cause she pulled me onto the stage. There, she put a dog collar on me, stuck a plastic bone in my mouth, and made me walk around on all fours. I could tell that I wasn't a big fan of this domination stuff.
Next, she decided to use her whip on my hindquarters. The crowd started yelling, "Harder!" As I found out later, Jonas led the choir. Bastard.
She did a few more stunts on me before letting me go back to my seat, where Jonas was dying of laughter. Oh well, at least I can now add "erotic entertainer" to my resume. Good times.
Feels good to be home - even if home is covered in snow, and even if Sue couldn't come back with me. "Home" means no more walking, no more dealing with French, and no more fighting off Jonas' advances...
Just kidding about the last one, of course:
So where do I start?
In case you didn't believe my account of the homeless night in London, here's some visual evidence:
Things really went uphill from there. Susan and I had a great time, even if we walked almost everywhere in Paris. That turned out not to be such a bad thing, because we really got to experience the city: the glamour of Champs-Elysees, the hustle-bustle of Rue de Rivoli, and the changing face of Marais. Here's a cool pic that I snapped around Montmartre, close to where Susan lives:
We also got to see Sunny and Jing, which was really really cool - even if it was ironic that we had to travel for thousands of miles to see each other.
I do have to mention a few more things about Amsterdam, for the sake of completeness. I had to compare notes with Jonas, to make sure some things happened the way I remembered.
They did.
After the museums and other cultural institutions closed, Jonas and I had no choice but to visit the only tourist attraction that was still operating - the Red Light district. I wasn't sure what to expect, so I was in for a surprise. All over the narrow, canal-lined streets were glassed-in rooms with red neon backlights. In the windows stood all kinds of women - young, old, attractive and not so much so - in their lingerie. Any "interested" man could walk in, and immediately the red blinds would be drawn. What happens there is best left to imagination, but, according to Jonas (who was brave enough to conduct a purely journalistic investigation) prices start at 50 euro. Business was as brisk as the weather, and quite a few blinds were being shut - often with alarming frequency.
Of course, Jonas and I are respectable family men, so you ain't gonna see us behind no red blinds. Instead, we headed to a place that Jonas' trusty guide book suggested. What looked like a movie theater turned out to be a live sex show. Well, what can you do - we paid for entertainment, and we got it.
One act was called "The Dominatrix". A slightly older lady came out on stage, wearing black - as expected. She spun around with her whip a few times, and then proceeded to walk down the main isle. When she saw Jonas and I sitting next to each other, she asked, "Are you two together?" Maybe I protested a little too vigorously, 'cause she pulled me onto the stage. There, she put a dog collar on me, stuck a plastic bone in my mouth, and made me walk around on all fours. I could tell that I wasn't a big fan of this domination stuff.
Next, she decided to use her whip on my hindquarters. The crowd started yelling, "Harder!" As I found out later, Jonas led the choir. Bastard.
She did a few more stunts on me before letting me go back to my seat, where Jonas was dying of laughter. Oh well, at least I can now add "erotic entertainer" to my resume. Good times.
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