is it xmas?

Two top stories from Yahoo: Chief Justice John Roberts suffers seizure, hospitalized and FBI, IRS agents search home of Sen. Ted Stevens. Wow.

exciting times

My apartment looks like a stuff bomb went off - sure, one may say, that's what happens when you move into a new house. Heh, well, about that... let's just say that the "new house" part is on hold, while the "moving" part is definitely ongoing.

Sooo, on Thursday afternoon, when I called the real estate lawyer to make sure we were all set for closing at 10AM the next day, he informed me that the other side messed up and couldn't provide the documents that they needed to prove that an old mortgage was paid off. How about that. I, in turn, informed him that we had four days to get out of our apartment, and that the delay was highly inconvenient at best. But, nothing we can do about that.

Of course, the stuff in our apartment and the next guy moving in don't care much for the lack of responsibility exhibited by the seller. Henceforth, we spent the better half of the last 48 hours evenly distributing our things between Susan's parents' house and my parents'. Which makes it into a fun guessing game: "Where in the world are Stan's sneakers?"

To make things even more interesting, Jonas is coming down for a visit. In fact, he is sitting on the Chinatown bus right now, fully expecting to be taken to the new villa once he gets to Boston. Boy, do I have a surprise for him ;)

deep conversation

The most important point of every relationship comes when two people connect on a deeper level, when they reach a point in a conversation where they learn something that they could never learn on their own.

Sue and I reached that point yesterday.

Susan asked me, "Prostitution is illegal, right?" "Sure," I answered, "in Nevada". I was wrong - apparently, it is also legal in Rhode Island, who knew.

Susan then asked, "But porn is legal, right?" "Sure!" I answered. That much I knew.

Susan than made a logical leap: "Well, why is making porn legal while prostitution isn't?" Hmm, I thought. My significant other had a point there. Why does placing the camera in the room change the legality of the situation? Sure, both the actor and the actress are getting paid, but it's still sex for hire. We pondered about that for quite a while.

Soon, my enterprising mind started putting the pieces together - we really have something here. Making porn is legal, so there is nothing stopping a person from owning a corporate entity that specializes in this fine art. Likewise, it is certainly up to the company to choose who gets to star in its productions. Furthermore, there is no law that could prohibit a potential actor from investing in the said company - employees invest in their companies all the time. If it so happens that part of that investment is used to hire a co-star, well, that's just business!

I'll see you guys later, I'm off to find a camcorder and some "movie stars"...

free nite

So Susan and I went to an event at Pho Republic sponsored by Yelp, where we got some awesome martinis on our way to see the premier of "Hot Rod" for free. Believe it or not, right outside the movie, Michael Cera was signing autographs for his new movie, "Superbad". I couldn't remember where I saw him for the life of me, until IMDB reminded me that he was in "Arrested Development". Sweet.

everything you wanted to know about house buying, but were afraid to ask

This week, if all goes well, we shall complete our house-buying saga. Along the way, we've learned a helluva lot... so just in case anybody needs 'em, here are all the steps.

1. Go to a first-time homebuyer's seminar. Those are generally free, will give you a good overview of the process, and should serve coffee.


2. Hopefully, during the seminar you'll get a chance to sign up for MLS access (if not, wait until the next step). MLS is a database of all (well, most) properties for sale, so make friends with its quirky interface.


3. Find a buyer's agent. You don't have to have one, but they come in useful, and are free to you - the two agents will split the commission that the seller pays. If you don't get one, seller's agent will run the entire transaction and keep the entire commission (around 5%). On the flip side, if you're working without an agent, seller's broker will pretend to be your best friend - remember, it's 2.5% vs 5% for him/her. BTW, when you're looking for an agent, either ask around to get someone qualified, or sign up through any number of referral schemes to get a kickback (and a random person to help you make the biggest purchase you've ever made). Guess which one we picked... yup, let's just say we'll be expecting a Home Depot gift card in the mail in a few weeks.


4. Realize you're already way over your head.


5. Guided by your best friend, MLS, get a feel for the market. Figure out what's going on in different neighborhoods, and which houses sell quickly. Search around on the web and in the newspapers to figure out which town are doing well financially, and which ones host Superfund sites (heh... took me a while to figure out why houses in Wilmington were such a steal.. until I dug up some brain cancer statistics).


6. Go to open houses, again for the purpose of self-education. Yes, some do serve cookies.


7. If you find something that looks remotely livable, make your agent earn his/her keep, and tell them to schedule a viewing (this can be done even before the first open house).


8. Your agent will try to make it seem like he/she serves a purpose greater than being a professional door opener, and send you some listings to look over. Those will inevitably be at the high side of your range (2.5%, remember?), and the houses will resemble ancient ruins... only less majestic.


9. Right about now, you will start to see right through the real estate terms like "cozy" (small), "perfect for first-time buyers" (an absolute wreck), "full of character" (walls are caving in), and "private" (can't see the house through all the weeds).


10. Get pre-approved. For that, you will need to find a mortgage broker - which I would recommend going with, since they can pick the best offer from several banks. You call them up, answer a few questions, and they fax you a pre-approval letter stating how big of a loan you can swing. You can ask about the rates, but don't sweat it, since those go up and down constantly.


11. Find the house of your dreams. Resist the urge to jump up and down.


12. Here, you have to act reasonably fast. Factor in the listing price, condition of the house, time on market, and level of desperation on the other agent's face - and come up with the lowest number you think the seller will take without giving into his/her desire to strangle you.


13. Have your agent write up an offer. You can play with several variables - price being primary, of course, but timing is important too. Your agent will prefer the quickest closing possible (thus, less of a wait for that 2.5%), but you would probably need at least a week to conduct a home inspection, and close to a month to get the loan hammered out. Oh yeah, make sure that the offer is made conditional on inspection results. With the offer, you need to include a deposit of $500-1000, plus (usually) a pre-approval letter. Now, your mortgage broker is gonna love you for this, but you'd want to include a letter that states that you are pre-approved for exactly the amount of your offer - not a penny more. If you show that you can spend more, the seller would be much more inclined to ask for more.


14. The seller now has three choices - accept the offer, reject it, or draw up a different one. This game can last for several rounds.


15. Once your offer is accepted, find a home inspector to go through the nether regions of your potential abode. If he/she (ah, face it, it's probably a "he") finds anything horrific, you can still back out and get your deposit back.


16. Assuming everything's OK up to this point, work with a lawyer on hammering out the Purchase & Sale Agreement (your agent and your mortgage broker will probably recommend their "guy"). Make sure to chuckle every time you say "P 'n S".


17. Read over the P&S, and make sure every concern of yours is covered. If the house is filled with junk, like ours was, specify that you want it delivered in "broom-clean condition".


18. With the P&S, you have to fork over some more dough, maybe $5000 - in a form of a bank check. At this point, it is wise to start making copies of things, like the said check. You will also realize that you have passed a point of no return, and getting your $5000+ back now will be a tiny bit difficult.

Sounds exciting so far? You just wait, we haven't even gotten to the best parts yet... I'm just tired of typing for now.

next man overboard: Eric

Mr. Schrock took the plunge into married life in a beautiful outdoor ceremony... and it has taken me close to a month to produce the photographic evidence! But no worries, the pictures are now available on my new repository of choice, Picasa.

(and no, contrary to what the picture may lead you to believe, Schrock did NOT marry Stevens)

exhibit A

... and, for the illiterate among us, let me summarize my previous post with a diagram:

the magic number

Sure, when I'm old (like 30), I might look back at this day with a mixture of nostalgia and jealousy, but for the time being my personal triumph knows no bounds. After months (and perhaps years, depending on your metrics) of stuffing myself with food, working out, drinking protein shakes, and in general being all that I could be, I have finally reached my goal weight of 160 pounds*

* ... although I must admit that tipping the scales required me to eat a giant lunch, drink about a gallon of water, and forgo a haircut.

So what's so special about this number, 160? Well, back in sophomore or junior year, my friend and I had a little bet - who would reach 160 first. Any bookie would put the odds on me, since I was 156 lbs at the time - and my friend was around 180. Sure enough, he shed the weight like a burning shirt, and I was stuck at 156... for about five years.

Not any more, ha!

my $0.02

My coworker dug up this article on a haptic feedback glove. My immediate thought was, "Yup, now they just need to package one with every iPhone.

Seriously, the only thing keeping the iPhone from joining the New Coke on the trash pile of worst ideas ever is the blind fanaticism of Mac followers. All the known usability problems of a touchscreen? Check. Affordance of physical buttons? Not there. Extensibility? Virtually nil, unless you count the ability to use web applications - which other phones have had for ages. Yet again, Apple collected some good ideas from the marketplace, slapped a pretty interface on some shoddy hardware - and the consumers are eating it up. Uhhhh.

did you know...

... that 1 US dollar is worth approx. 1.06 Canadian?

Sweet. Factor in inflation, and the plight of the middle class positively becomes a disaster, when looking at the earnings in absolute terms.